Internationally-renowned dating coach Kezia Noble got her start as a “wing girl” within the pick-up artist community and earned a reputation for giving insightful advice and outspoken, honest feedback. By 2007, stories of her ability to help her students get results had begun to spread, and she was inundated with requests from men around the world to help them achieve similar success with women. In 2009, Noble started her own company and now employs a team of hand-picked male and female instructors who help students navigate the rocky world of sex, dating and relationships.
Through sold-out bootcamps and videos that have received well over ten million views, Noble has become one of the leading dating coaches in the world, and in 2013, she published a top-selling book entitled The Noble Art of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide to Pulling Any Woman You Want, in which she provides a unique insight into the inner workings of the female mind.
Over the course of her career, Noble has helped over 18,000 men overcome their fears and self-limiting beliefs and achieve success with women that they once thought impossible. To learn more about Noble and her work, visit www.kezia-noble.com.
What was your upbringing like, and how did it shape who you are today?
I grew up in London in a very small family but with what could be considered by many a privileged kickstart in life. Both my parents often entertained many celebrity friends with fantastically colourful personalities at our family home during the ’80s, and I remember having to always give that little bit extra of myself in order to get attention from such an eclectic mix of adults. I feel that those experiences shaped my personality immensely. I relish the limelight, and enjoy making people laugh and striking chords within the people I meet. Although, as a result of my extroverted personality and encouragement to shine, I confess that I can be slightly intolerant of shy people in social situations. I feel that we all have a moment to shine or make impact, and that moment shouldn’t be wasted on polite quietness or forgettable shyness.
How did you initially become aware of the pick-up artist community?
I was “head hunted,” one could say. In 2006, whilst minding my own business, a man approached me in a bar claiming to be a pick-up artist. After explaining to me the general concept, he invited me to one of the workshops he was holding, where he and other pick-up artists show men how to attract women and increase their success rate over the course of a weekend. I was on hand to give some feedback to the students on the workshop and it seems that my direct and honest insight into the female mind was very much welcomed. That kind of insight was obviously one of the missing factors within the pick-up artist community.
Who were your biggest influences when you were first starting out in the pick-up artist community?
There was no particular pick-up artist that I can say had a profound effect on me or who influenced my teachings. I found that all of them had something to offer, however, there was a lot of hyped-up nonsense and exaggerated claims that I realised you had to filter out in order to get to the material that actually worked and that I felt was congruent with my experiences and insights.
What made you want to help men become better at meeting and seducing women?
I realised that it was something I was good at, and based on the success I was helping my students to achieve, I was motivated to keep going and keep evolving the skills and material that I was sharing. I feel that when men make a decision to get better or to excel at something, they tend to stick with it and, as a result, they are more open to direct feedback and hard-hitting advice if it means helping them to reach their goals. This creates the ideal teacher-pupil relationship for someone like me who practices and believes in “tough love” methods.
In your experiences, in what areas do most men struggle when attempting to meet women?
The inability to market themselves properly. Every one has attributes, opinions, personality quirks, a sense of humour, etc., BUT when men feel nervous or uncertain around women they are attracted to, they choose to hide these character traits that make us unique behind a wall of nerves. That wall of nerves usually makes the men come across as dull, shy, quiet, bland and replaceable. Failing to make impact within the first few minutes can really decrease the man’s chances of attracting the woman dramatically. I focus heavily on conversation skills as well as non-verbal communication, as it is incredibly important for a man to convey his unique qualities and personality in the early stages of the interaction if he stands any chance of standing out from the endless forgettable guys an average woman has spoken to in the past.
As a female in a male-dominated field, do you feel that people have more respect for your point of view, or less?
Most men appreciate the idea of getting a clear insight into the female mind, however unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there who have chosen to give the “nice but essentially useless” option of advice. This vague and unhelpful kind of advice is something that men have had to endure from not only their female friends but also most of the female dating coaches out there who are featured in the media in order to give a “light” and “user-friendly” version of dating and pick-up advice. So as a result, there are men out there who might initially perceive me to be just another one of those girls who will end up lazily advising them to “just be more confident.”
From your perspective, how has the pick-up artist community changed or evolved since you were first starting out?
It has become a lot more mainstream now, which I believe is a good thing, because most men out there really could do with some help in my opinion, and the need for that help is becoming greater the more we hide behind our smart phones, social media accounts and carefully pre-planned text messages when communicating with other human beings.
I think the pick-up artists who have remained “underground” tend to remain there for a reason.
What was your most memorable first date?
I find first dates very awkward, so most of them have not been as memorable as I would have hoped for. However, there was one which was particularly surprising. I met a man on public transport, who seemed like just a regular guy. However, during our first date, I realised that he was one of the world’s most successful Americans. I didn’t expect that at all. We ended up good friends.
What’s the best meal you’ve had recently?
Wrong person to ask. I eat to live rather than live to eat. I see food as fuel rather than a pleasure.
Where are you most comfortable?
I’m comfortable in environments where I can hear what people are saying around me. The problem with a lot of night clubs these days is the deafening music. Conversation is very important, and it’s an art form that’s slowly slipping away. I can tell a lot about people not just from what they are saying, but by the tone of their voice, and likewise, they can connect with me if they can actually hear me. When the music is too loud, I simply leave rather than exhaust myself by enduring a constant battle between myself and the music.
What is the most rewarding aspect of your work?
Obviously, it’s seeing my students get the results they wanted, but this extends further than just the results they get with women. After working with me, they very often find that they have been able to finally tap into an inner confidence and a core strength that they never knew they possessed, which in turn helped them excel in other areas of their lives too.
If you could offer one piece of advice to your 18-year-old self, what would you tell her?
Stop being so horrible to the boys you actually like! They are scared of you!